Female 'Vampire' Unearthed in Venice
"An archaeological dig near Venice has unearthed the 16th-century remains of a woman with a brick stuck between her jaws -- evidence, experts say, that she was believed to be a vampire"
So, you know, be careful or I'll bury you with my banana bread between your teeth.
But by far, the best quote in the article is this:
"...they saw a fat, dead person, full of blood and with a hole in the shroud, so they would say: 'This guy is alive, he's drinking blood and eating his shroud.'"
I don't know why, but I think "eating his shroud" is HILARIOUS.